control

Contributed by Ronnie Maier

"Sooner or later we will come to the edge
of all that we can control
and find life, waiting there for us."
~ Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

This quote is featured in our Quote Zone, and I love it. It's from Dr. Remen's book My Grandfather's Blessings, which I discovered several years ago while on a personal odyssey (as it turned out) visiting a friend in New Mexico.

It had quite an impact on me. I come from a long line of detail-oriented women who (attempt to) leave very little to chance. When my kids were small, my need for control — and it approached obsessive-compulsive levels in those sleep-deprived days — caused a lot of pain in this house.

picture this

When people talk about raising their kids without punishment, what pictures come to your mind, and what assumptions are you making about how their kids behave and what their lives are like?

Now ask yourself: What if your imagination is failing you?

destroying the village to save it

A (mis)quote came out of the Vietnam War:

"We had to destroy the village in order to save it."

It's a philosophy that far too much of traditional parenting appears to embrace: break the child down in order to help her grow up right.

If this sounds counterintuitive to you, it's because IT IS. The only thing that breaking down a child accomplishes is breaking down a child. Don't.

Coming soon: Click the "destroying the village" label below to read articles about parenting practices we find dangerous and why.

spanking

Set aside the debate. Ask yourself a simple question:

If—just if—there's a way to achieve for your kids all the things that you're hoping for, for them, that does not involve spanking or other punishment, would you like to learn more about it?

If you answered "yes," you're in the right place.

ask us

Coming soon!

Send your questions to asoftplacetoland at outlook.com.