breaking the shame chain

Most toxic shame has been passed down from generation to generation for centuries. Our great-grandparents transferred their shame to our grandparents, our grandparents transferred it to our parents, and our parents dumped it all on us.

What messages of shame did you receive when you were a kid? "You're inadequate" is a common one. "You take up too much room." "You're unwanted, unlovable, unimportant." Or maybe "You're stupid" or even "You're crazy."

All of these?

Ask yourself: Do you really want your kids to get the same message?

Tip: For more information about shame messages and their effects on us, read Rising Above Shame by Dr. Stan Wilson.

picture this

When people talk about raising their kids without punishment, what pictures come to your mind, and what assumptions are you making about how their kids behave and what their lives are like?

Now ask yourself: What if your imagination is failing you?

spanking

Set aside the debate. Ask yourself a simple question:

If—just if—there's a way to achieve for your kids all the things that you're hoping for, for them, that does not involve spanking or other punishment, would you like to learn more about it?

If you answered "yes," you're in the right place.